Get matched to the best therapist
Have you and your partner just decided to get married? Congratulations and best wishes, then! It’s only a matter of time before you two finally settle down and tie the knot, and most importantly, start a new life as a married couple. (READ THIS FIRST Top 6 Marriage-Killing Money Issues)
But while you have just gotten engaged, mind you, there is still a lot of work to do before you actually walk down the aisle. In fact, the engagement can sometimes be the most difficult period a couple goes through before marriage, because this is the time when you prepare not just for the wedding itself, but the reality of married life.
So how do you deal with being an engaged couple? Here are 8 Relationship Advice Newly Engaged Couples Must Know
Getting engaged puts a lot of pressure on both of you as a couple, as there arises the pressure to tie the knot at the soonest. But this can be avoided by discussing your priorities as a couple. This is because you may decide to get engaged but would like to wait longer to actually get married.
It is best that you lay down your priorities first, such as buying a house or getting a car, or saving enough funds for long-term investments, in case you haven’t picked a date to get married yet. Or if in case you intend to get married a few years after the engagement, then talk about this as well.
2. Don’t try changing each other.
It’s understandable that you want everything to be perfect by the time the wedding day arrives, and you’d want this period to be the time where you can bring out the best in each other. But this also means you want your partner to change –or improve themselves at the very least.READ MORE 14 Ways to Make Your Wife Feel Appreciated
There’s no need to do that; instead, just be yourselves and enjoy preparing for your upcoming wedding. Besides, you decided to get hitched because of what you are and what you have, not what you want each other to be.
3. Stop assuming that you know what each other wants.
Preparing for the wedding can be very stressful, as you and your partner will be faced with mind games by trying to guess what’s in each other’s minds. Please be reminded though, that neither of you is clairvoyants. Hence, during the preparation stages, talk. Discuss your plans and your doubts, your questions and your fears. By communicating with each other, the easier it would be for you to carry out all the tasks needed for you two to get married.
READ THIS What you need to know about marriage and money
4. Don’t work towards the expectations of others.
The real pressure of the engagement comes into full swing when your friends and family finally learn about your plans to get married. It is normal for them to pitch in their ideas and suggestions, but there comes a point that you begin to work towards their expectations and requisites and not yours as a couple. Hey, this isn’t their wedding, but yours.
Hence, make sure that you have your own vision of your wedding and work towards that, not that of other people’s. It’s good to take in their ideas, but at the end of the day, it’s still you and your partner who’s going to decide on how the wedding should be done.READ MORE When Your Marriage Needs Counseling
5. Do not ever say negative things about your fiancé(e) in front of others.
Now that you’re engaged, this doesn’t mean that you already have the right to make fun of your partner in public (on the assumption that you’re getting married anyway). It’s hurtful and disrespectful not only to your partner but to your engagement as well. You may want to keep the teasing in private, as doing this publicly may heighten the stress and tension your partner is already going through due to the engagement.
6. Discuss the core details of your wedding first before seeking help from others.
It is common these days to seek the help of a wedding coordinator to do the groundwork of your marriage, but before hiring one, make sure that you two have decided on the core necessities first. This makes it easier for the coordinator and his/her team, in laying down the tasks needed to be done for your wedding, including how your guests will be involved in the activities.
And yes, when you have already narrowed down your necessities, it would also be easier to align them with your budget.
READ THIS Why Keeping Secrets Will Destroy Your Marriage
7. Have fun with each other.
While you are both busy preparings for your wedding, it is also important that you set time to have fun with each other. The stress and tension can get the best of you in the process, so before it happens make sure to take the time off and relax.READ MORE Broken Together – The Vow
Wedding preparations should be fun too, so better enjoy it whenever you have appointments such as cake tasting, shopping for bridal outfits, or visiting possible venues.
8. Attend to your partner’s jitters right away.
There are times when you or your partner starts to feel the wedding jitters, and this can be very stressful to handle. But instead of brushing these off, it is best that you attend to your partner right away. The companionship you provide reminds your partner that you are with him or her every step of the way until the big day finally arrives.
As much as possible, be patient with your partner’s tantrums and whims. Do know when to level off so that you both won’t get frustrated when things don’t go as you expected later on.
Lastly, it is important to note that the engagement period is the phase when you can renew your relationship with your partner. You both know that it is only a matter of time before you enter a new life called marriage, and things would be more different from that day onward. It is thus best to have fun, enjoy, and think less about your worries and fears.